Counting Down
My life revolves around numbers…
Days until I quit my job: 43
Days until we leave for Georgia: 46
Days until we start our thru-hike: 49
For the past few months, my days have started by looking at these numbers. Everything that happens to me is seen through the lens of “time left”. I have this many more days of work. I have this many more weekends. My life that exists between now and the trail has become nothing more than a waiting room where I just sit until its time for something to happen.
It’s not a new feeling. In fact it’s one of the biggest reasons Ive decided to thru-hike. My entire life has been spent looking toward the horizon. In high school, I looked ahead to college. In college, I looked ahead to a career, however vague that idea may have been. Now I have a job, a great one by any reasonable standards, but one that has leaves me unfulfilled nonetheless. Ive reached a point where there is no next step to look forward too. Ive never had any sort of roadmap for my life except the default one of what society expects. By always focusing on a future that was laid out for me, I never had to learn to appreciate whats in front of me. I never discovered and cultivated the things that made me happy because I was too focused on what things were GOING to make me happy. Ive always lacked that quality that has become such a buzzword in the self-help world: mindfulness.
Intellectually, I know the importance of mindfulness. It helps you enjoy the little things in life, you dont overanalyze, and your mind doesnt run wild with anxiety because you only focus on whats currently in front of you. I know the principles but so far Ive done a poor job of living by them. And thats where the trail comes in.
On the trail you have no choice but to be mindful. You only carry a few days worth of food at a time so you cant plan too far ahead. You have to get rid of your desire for new and shiny material things because youre limited to what you can carry on your back. You cant worry about the weather because you know youll be out walking in it whether it rains or not. You cant think about the mountain you have to climb tomorrow because youre busy climbing one today. If you dont focus on the step youre taking right now you risk tripping and injuring yourself.
I know the trail has so much to teach me, but that doesnt mean my time between now and then has to be some sort of limbo. There is plenty I can accomplish and enjoy between now and then. Im going to do my best to be present for every moment of it.
You can plan for the future, but you cant live there. Ive planned enough. Im ready to start living.
This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any product or service you purchase using the links in the articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price as they would otherwise, and your purchase helps to support The Trek's ongoing goal to serve you quality backpacking advice and information. Thanks for your support!
To learn more, please visit the About This Site page.
Comments 2
Well said – at least you’ve observed this pattern in your life and are actually trying to break out of it. I think there’s a notion that life becomes mundane and that’s just how it is, but it isn’t! Have a day? You can drive to a different part of the country. Have fifteen minutes? Time enough to write, or read, or walk, or call your grandpa. Cheers to you two!
Hope you are having the time of your life. I really liked your statement “You can plan for the future, but you cant live there. Ive planned enough. Im ready to start living”
I wish you continued success in the future and it is nice to read about your times on the trail. God bless you and the wife and stay safe!