Perseverance or Insanity? Why This Failed Thru-Hiker Refuses to Abandon the Trail
Consider the case of Trail Dog: Three-and-a-half years, one knee and two ankle surgeries after beginning his thru-hike, he’s back on the AT, determined to finish his hike. Or take the Snail Brethren, a mother and son duo who both suffered injuries during their attempted thru-hike (a stress fracture and doubly torn meniscus), and have returned for their second try. Or the woman who — after four harrowing days on the AT approach trail — was hospitalized with a life-threatening condition and is now plotting her return.
They must be crazy, right? Why would any sane person after suffering such significant injuries willingly risk more abuse?
Its a valid question, one Ive pondered a lot since my own aborted thru-hike last year. And like others who are forced off the trail due to injuries, I know the cons of going back: My bad knees might get worse. I could suffer a dangerous fall. And I wont be a thru-hiker this time around; I’ll be slack packing the remainder of the trail in sections, leaving me short of my ultimate goal. So why dont I do the reasonable thing — forget hiking and spend my time doing something more sedate?
I dont really know the answer, although I admit theres some stubbornness involved. I hate abandoning a goal. Unfinished business really eats at me. Theres probably some denial, too, an unwillingness to accept the reality that my 63-year-old body isnt as strong as Id like it to be.
But I suspect the real answer lies in something more nebulous, that the Appalachian Trail keeps calling to me. Not the beauty of it. Im honestly not that outdoorsy. Communing with nature doesnt give me any sort of mystical bliss. And Im definitely not a kick-ass hiker. If last years 800-mile trek taught me anything, its that Im actually a wimp. Im not strong. Im often afraid. And I dont tolerate exhaustion or hunger well.
Still, theres something about the trail, something elusive that keeps beckoning me back. Maybe its the idea of it. Maybe its the chance to escape reality, to do something extraordinary with my time. Or maybe its getting to know the other hikers, those fascinating and diverse people strung out over the mountains, all engaged in their personal quests.
Or maybe its like someone said in the documentary “The Barkley Marathons: The Race that Eats its Young.” Most people in todays society dont seek out things that will test them. They seek out things that will entertain them. And that seems wrong to me. Isnt the point of life to test ourselves and discover who we are inside?
And to be tested, you have to risk failure — real failure, both physical and mental. The kind you face daily on the AT.
So Ive made my choice. I’ve hauled my hiking gear out of my closet, doused everything in permethrin, and am ready to resume my trek. It wont be glamorous or fast. I won’t set a record of any kind. Ill just be plodding along as best I can, seeking and striving for answers, trying not to yield to my many weaknesses.
And hopefully, outrunning the men in white coats who are after me.
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Comments 17
Very inspirational Gail. Hope this time does it for you. And if it doesn’t there’s always next year.
Gail: Determination and a sense of humor are a hard combination to beat. Good luck!!
Thank you, Bill. I hope to at least finish the south this year, assuming my knees hold out. That would just leave Maine and a bit of NH. But Ill worry about that later on.
Yeah! Your back at it! In my heart I am enjoying your hike with you! All the fog, the sunshine on your shoulders and the dirt below your feet! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Sherry! I appreciate the support, dear friend!
So glad to hear youre heading back out there! Those of us who have had our thru-hiking goals thrashed by injury can completely relate. I too have become a LASHER, and am now grateful to be able truly hike my own hike.
Ill be following your adventures. Enjoy!
Isnt it amazing how different a LASH is? And not in a negative way. Im not hurrying as much so I have more time to talk to other hikers we see. We can avoid the worst weather, too!
Really looking forward to your posts. You certainly captured something here, with this one…
Thanks, Jaynn! Im glad you enjoyed it.
Good for you!!! Best wishes for this journey (and those to come)….
~BuzzCut
Thank you, Buzzcut. I appreciate the support!
You have a great perspective!! – Just the right amount of stubbornness and the necessary sense of humor to take you a few steps further than your knees might!!
Wishing you the best!!
Thanks so much, Eddie! I appreciate that. Im going to need a sense of humor because the trail definitely hasnt gotten any easier during my time off…
Gail!!! (((HUGS))) so excited for you!!! If you need anything… ANY-THING… please let us know. In NH and willing to help!
You are not a wimp. Give yourself more credit. You dusted off your gear and are getting back to it. A wimp would not do that. You may whine and cry through the whole thing, but you still do it. Be nicer to yourself. Please.
Love,
Chaos & Chef
Whining and crying sounds exactly right! Im a total pity party when I get tired. But meeting you really inspired me. I keep thinking of how you finished the Long Trail despite all your pain. You are amazing! Im not sure my old knees are up to another 1,300 miles, but Im going to do my best (slackpacking helps a lot). And once we finish the south we still have Maine and the rest of NH to do, so you may see us again. Thanks so much for your offer of help!
I think the sedate life is more hazardous than trail life. I was lucky last year and did not have any injuries that kept me from finishing, but I was very aware that it could happen at any time. I plan to keep hiking as long and as often as I can. Best wishes on all of your hikes…any distance is a success.
I totally agree, Tom. I believe the more active you are the better you will age physically and mentally. And being around nature has all sorts of health benefits. That said, the AT is hazardous. So many people get injured. Congratulations on being able to finish your hike!