Two Weeks Whoa
Its closing in. In two weeks, or less, I begin my journey on the Appalachian Trail. Im sitting here in my apartment, taking a break from packing up my entire life. Its not like a typical move: I have to think through what Ill want in the weeks after my hike (normal clothes, mostly) and set that aside, mailing it home or bringing it with me to my parents. Ive had trouble packing up my books, and so there is a package of just books in the mail right now. The realization that Im leaving so soon keeps hitting me in waves. I have to be done packing my apartment and preparing to move to storage by Tuesday night. Everything, done. Ive done it before, several times, as one lease ends and another begins. But not like this. Sometimes, I get tired of answering the same questions about my hike I just want to be out there. Yes, Im going alone; no, Im not bringing a gun; yes, Ill be fine; they wont be strangers, theyll be my new family; hikers take care of their own; yes, Im nervous, but not for the reasons you think; yes, Ill sleep in a tent; yes, its a lot of logistics. Someone came up to me and stated, So I just finished this book called Predator.
Better questions get better answers: I light up and tell them everything, hopes for the trail, worries and excitement for the first week out there, how Im re-evaluating what I want to do with my life, or thinking about whether I need some time off or some time off, how Im so excited to meet new people and gain new perspectives and get more self-confidence that I can use even when Im not at the office, how I have all this time to think. How Im excited to spend a week with my family before I go, and have the time to think about all this that matters to me (its near-impossible with packing and contacting utilities and wrapping up work). It hits in waves: Im really going, Im really going. I am sometimes afraid Ive made this version of me thats fearless because I go hiking and camping and Im not sure Im ready to take this on. And then I remember: of course not. How can you be ready for something like this? You arent. Thats half the fun.
I have to go. Someone is here to pick up my bed. Ill be starting the sleeping bag life early, in the emptiness that was my bedroom.
photo courtesy JohnK
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