On Letting Go

I believe I’ve always hated it, the act of going to town.

The incessant noise.

The smoky smell of exhaust.

And why is everyone in such a hurry?

The vacant stares.

The road rage.

Humans were not meant to thrive in this manner.

I wish to avoid it for awhile.

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Growing up, going to town usually was treated as a big deal. We were on a farm and at the time the drive to the nearest store was about forty-five minutes. (more on that in a previous article here) I was not as exposed to city life as the majority of people are. In fact, one of my first visits to a major city was not until I was fifteen years old, and it was New York City. Someone told me people can live their whole lives in that maze and never leave to experience fresh air, the wilderness, the Earth as it meant to be seen. It depressed me greatly.

According to the countdown on my phone it is exactly one month and twenty days before I depart for a flip-flop thru hike attempt of the AT. I have officially put in my notice to vacate this apartment. This hastily rented cube of space which in the end was just a waste of hard earned money. As I am beginning to go through and pack my possessions, after learning more about necessity in the time I have dwelled here, there comes a point where one has to fully realize that every item in every apartment or house is placed there by choice. And we also have to realize that maybe not all of those choices are well thought out, and the purchase was merely momentary relief of some itch we one day hope to rid ourselves of. Recently after coming home late one evening it fully hit me that I finally get to leave this place. In just a few short weeks I will be moved out and all of my possessions I will need for the next six months or so will fit into a pack on my back. I expected to have this feeling of absolute freedom the moment I took the first steps of my thru-hike, not weeks before. I am glad for it though because it is giving me the strength to actually follow through with this ridiculous endeavor, and to finally begin the process of letting go.

Letting go of this modern comfortable life style and all this STUFF.

Letting go of past trauma and no longer allowing it to control me.

Letting go of past love’s hands, and hoping soon their claws will tear from my heart.

I wash my hands of it. No more.

I would rather be outside.

Rather than plush synthetic carpet, give me the dew misted forest upon which to trod.

I became to loathe the road I was on, so I will be ditching the road completely and hitting the trail.

To step blissfully into the quiet woods and breathe the fresh air.